When I first found I out that I was pregnant in December, I was over the moon with excitement. Not only was our family about to grow, but I felt an amazing sense of responsibility, awe, and wonder. I am already a mother to my bonus kids, but I felt excited to experience pregnancy and giving birth for the first time.
Oddly, out of the blue, I also started feeling an overwhelming sense of anxiety. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I worked in childcare for over 5 years. I’m the oldest of seven kids. I have been around babies my whole life and I have seen five births in person. I’m also 36, so the jig is up. I feel prepared and know what to expect.
So where was this anxiety coming from?
Then one day my mom was reminiscing about her pregnancies with me and my siblings. About how she watched me roll from one side of her belly to the other, and the way her body changed during each pregnancy. She talked about the food cravings she had with each of us (all different, of course).
Then she talked about working right up until she went into delivery, and going back to work no more than two weeks after having us. That was true even with my two youngest siblings, when she had c-sections and should have been off work for at least six weeks post-delivery. Both my parents worked multiple jobs with no access to paid time to care, so she couldn’t afford to take more time off. They had no other options.
That’s when it hit me. I was anxious remembering my mom deal with the stresses of having a baby in a world where she didn’t have paid time off to care for herself, her children, or her family. Somewhere deep inside, I was connecting my mom’s experiences with my own and what I should be prepared to expect.
I get paid time to care through my employer and I will get to spend three full months with my new baby. But my husband doesn’t. He gets a total of two weeks paid time off. And if he uses it for paternity leave, we have no idea what we’d do if he gets sick or ill during the course of the year, or needs to use it to help care for our family.
Both my parents worked multiple jobs with no access to paid time to care, so [my mother] couldn’t afford to take more time off. They had no other options.
Like many families, we can’t afford to take time off without pay—especially with a baby on the way. So I’m preparing to be alone for most of my leave as I adjust to becoming a mom to a newborn.
I am joyful that I am about to have a baby. But that doesn’t mean I don’t worry. I worry about the health of my baby. I worry about how much time my husband will get to spend with our new baby after she’s born. I worry about the world she is coming in to. There are so many things that parents have to worry about. But having the paid time we need to care for ourselves and our loved ones shouldn’t be one of those worries.
It baffles me that only a small percentage of workers in our state have access to paid time off. I can’t imagine what my family would do without it, and even with the limited amount of paid sick time and family leave we have, it still feels like a juggling act.
We celebrate mothers. But are we supporting them? Our government is responsible for making sure all our families have the resources and support we need to thrive. Our legislators need to show up for workers, parents, and mothers in our state. We need to pass Earned Sick and Safe Time (ESST) and Paid Family and Medical Leave (PFML) so that families like mine don’t have to worry about bonding with our newborn, caring for our own health, or making ends meet.
Mother’s Day is a Sunday, May 12. That’s a week before the end of the 2019 legislative session. Give mothers what they deserve this year. Give them paid time to care.
TakeAction Today
- Sign our ESST petition and make sure workers across the state have access to the time they need to care for themselves and their loved ones.
- Learn more about Paid Family and Medical Leave and share your story.
- Tweet a picture of your family and share why a #FamilyFriendlyMN must include ESST and PFML.
